First of all, Happy Mother’s Day to all you rock star moms out there. (If you shrank when I called you a rock star because you don’t think you’re a good mom, let me be the first to tell . . . you are!!! Stand with pride). For all you mother, at what ever stage your kid(s) are in, congrats! You made it through another rollercoaster day! And that, perhaps, is the bravest act of all! So kick up your feet and relax, you deserve a good pampering and a ton of love today (and everyday).
I’ve taken a long break from posting brave acts on Acts of Bravery. Twenty-one days from when I write this post to be exact. Sure I’ve posted here and there, but inconsistently. This wasn’t a conscious decision, it was more of a need. I’ve sat here all morning trying to figure out why. I’m one of those people who over-analyze everything, myself included. It’s not like I haven’t done brave things in the last twenty days, I just haven’t felt like sharing.
I have a bunch of theories, but it all comes down to needing a break. I’ve been doing some deep inside work since the beginning of April and a ton of big events are barreling down the calendar—my husband turned forty on Monday, my son graduates high school in a month, I turn forty in August, along with our twentieth anniversary, we are hoping to buy our house in July. And these are only the boulders. Lots of changes. Lots of transitions. All of them huge milestones.
That’s the external stuff, but the internal stuff keeps marching on too. There’s the constant: Why am I sick? Why do I keep having flare-up? Is it because of stress? If so how can I minimize the stress? Is it my fault I keep getting sick? Do I want to be sick?
That’s never a fun spiral. But I’m working on it. And honestly, sharing the process of doctor appointments and blood tests and possible diagnosis is not the most interesting of brave acts to share.
But then there’s the underlying whisper that’s nagging me about my writing dream. When I first started writing I thought if I worked hard enough I would be just like my favorite authors and sign with a big time publishing house and hit the best seller lists and make millions of dollars. Only recently have I realized that dream is more like winning the lottery. Sure it takes hard work to earn the money to buy the lottery ticket, but the rest is up to chance. The rest of us work hard, bring a paycheck home every few weeks and live our lives.
It’s the same with writing.
If I want a writing career, it takes a lot more than hoping and buying lottery tickets (aka querying agents). And it all has to do with what I want to do and how much I want to put into it.
I know, I know, I’m being vague. But it’s because I don’t know steps and I don’t know goals and I just don’t know anything. All I have is a concept. I don’t even know which direction to head. Obviously, I love writing fiction, but what else can I do to actually make this a career, to make a living and support my family, maybe go on a few vacations and buy a new washer and dryer?
Back to the brave thing.
I’ve made a ton of brave progress in the last five months. I make phone calls without hyperventilating now. My husband suggested I create a YouTube channel and I considered it a viable option to this career thing (instead of the automatic “no” fear response). I’m taking better care of myself. Posting blogs doesn’t feel like I’m flayed open so much anymore. I could go on and on.
But it’s time for more. It’s time to make some tough decisions. It’s time to risk and to fail and to learn and to succeed. It’s time to take a bigger step into the vast ocean of uncertainty.
What does that mean?
Well . . . I have a ton of ideas and questions storming in a chaotic mass through my mind. I should write them all down.
No, you do not want to see them.
Okay, crazies, here are a few in no particular order:
- The Petal to the Metal podcast suggested patreons and multiple streams of writing income. What and how?
- What do I focus on? What is my brand? Brave is a personal goal, but I have a lot to say about other subjects: parenting, relationships, spirituality, gluten-free travel/lifestyle, travel in general, writing, reading, marriage, the Christian church, loss and grief, some memoir-type stuff, etc. Do I write/talk about all of them, but use different channels?
- Do I blog? Podcast? YouTube? Pedal my books at flea markets?
And this is just the stuff I’m thinking about today.
How do I land on answers? Except to research, set goals, plan, risk and act?
If you’re an expert marketer or if any of my ideas sound like something you want to know more about, let me know in the comments. Any advice or suggestions or opinions would be EXTREMELY helpful. Thanks in advance!
What about you? What keeps nagging, asking you to be brave? Share in comments or on the Acts of Bravery page or when you see me in the store. I love hearing your stories. They let me know I’m not alone in this and keep me inspired!