Fast forward to your 80th birthday. You have all your favorite old bitys sitting in rocking chairs, anchored to the front porch. Your wrinkled significant other shuffles out barely gripping the birthday cake with enough candles to set the Hindenberg on fire. You’re worried your false teeth are going to fly out the second you try to blow them out. Got it pictured?
In that moment, right before you blow out the candles are you thinking, “Make a wish? No need. I have zero regrets.” Or are you thinking, “I’m wishing for the same dream to come true again?!” … More Risk. Fail. Repeat.
I’m somewhere between inception of the goal and interstellar master of my dreams. And I’ve mistaken this in between state as mundane, because, well . . . most of the time the process is boring. I’m in the dregs of the journey, the part where . . . … More The Monotonous Middle
For those of you who haven’t figured it out already, I’m a goal-driven, Type-A personality, ready to conquer the world one checklist item at a time. This quality is perfect for accomplishing tasks and staying disciplined, but its horrible for the boring, monotonous, daily mindset I need to get well.
In fact, as I’ve created room in my daily life to heal from stupid, chronic Lyme disease—resting, listening to what my body needs (and actually doing it), the whole days job of taking medication and eating clean—my relentlessly, goal-driven mindset has highlighted a shocking bad habit that even the Energizer Bunny couldn’t maintain.
Let me explain. … More How Success Can Create Unrealistic Expectations
Death has always been a taboo subject for me. I fear it. Like deathly afraid of it (pun intended). But as I’ve been sick, and as I face down this biopsy to check for uterine cancer, I’ve had a few nights tossing, turning, and looking down the barrel of my own mortality. … More How to Embrace Your Mortality
Over the years, I’ve learned the art of not deciding I don’t belong, of not seeing my self-worth in another’s eyes.
This process was a “fake it ’til you make it” sort of thing, choosing to believe the feelings of not-belonging and expecting judgement from others were simply conjurings of my imagination. I can’t count how many times I’ve fought with this thought: My friend looks angry, therefore I must have done something to piss her off. Then to make it worse, she must not want to be my friend anymore. Or how about this one? My significant other was short with me, therefore he must not truly love me.
But this way of thinking—reading into other people’s emotions, making the distorted thoughts about me, and making judgement calls on the relationship—is toxic, and honestly, selfish. … More How to Belong to Yourself
What is your biggest disappointment in life right now? I bet something immediately popped to mind. Hold this without judgement as you read because we’re going to use it as we go. At this very moment, my biggest disappointment is exhaustion like I’ve never experienced before. This is saying a lot because I’ve been progressively … More How to Change Disappointment Into Opportunity
You know those rules we all live by? There’s the societal rules: Don’t murder your kids, no matter how badly they annoy you unless you want to spend the rest of your life in jail. Or, personal rules: Don’t show up late for work every day unless you want to get fired, go bankrupt, and … More What Happens When Your Life Rules Are Outdated?
Yes. I am one of those people who get all hyped up about New Year’s Resolutions. I stand proudly in my goal-planning nerdiness. Before all of you New Year’s Grinches, who can’t stand the thought of uttering one resolution (losing weight, exercise consistently, eat right), roll your eyes and click off this post, give me a chance to argue my point. … More December (AKA Resolution-Planning Month): My Favorite Time of the Year
“Constant change is here to stay,” an oft quoted and long displayed sign in my life.
But I prefer the stay and not the change. The tried and true versus the new. The carefully calm as opposed to adventurous.
And I contemplate this as I careen headlong, and far too fast, into the intersection of Grandparent Ave. and Hot Flash Blvd. Ai yi yi. … More Acts of Bravery Guest Post: Kicking Up Change
My adversary—change—and my hatred of wasting time, gets me stuck in ruts. Deep ones. Sometimes I stand on my tip-toes to try to see out of them. Sometimes I sink to the bottom, burrow in, and make a day of it.
Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. … More Acts of Bravery: How to Climb Out of that Rut!