How to Belong to Yourself

Over the years, I’ve learned the art of not deciding I don’t belong, of not seeing my self-worth in another’s eyes.

This process was a “fake it ’til you make it” sort of thing, choosing to believe the feelings of not-belonging and expecting judgement from others were simply conjurings of my imagination. I can’t count how many times I’ve fought with this thought: My friend looks angry, therefore I must have done something to piss her off. Then to make it worse, she must not want to be my friend anymore. Or how about this one? My significant other was short with me, therefore he must not truly love me.

But this way of thinking—reading into other people’s emotions, making the distorted thoughts about me, and making judgement calls on the relationship—is toxic, and honestly, selfish. … More How to Belong to Yourself

How to Change Disappointment Into Opportunity

What is your biggest disappointment in life right now? I bet something immediately popped to mind. Hold this without judgement as you read because we’re going to use it as we go. At this very moment, my biggest disappointment is exhaustion like I’ve never experienced before. This is saying a lot because I’ve been progressively … More How to Change Disappointment Into Opportunity

No Going Back

As a bright-eyed and fairy tale-dreamer bride, I wanted one thing—to give my kids a sense of permanency, a sense of belonging to a place, to a community. Better yet, I wanted them to grow up and get married and bring their children and their grandchildren to our family home.

Think Father of the Bride circa 1991.

But this is life and not a dream. Things rarely work out the way we plan. … More No Going Back